Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Less talking, more tequila
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You are the jesus of drinking
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
