We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
