You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
NoShamevember. You game?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
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