The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
