That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
