She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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