Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i already hear my dad disowning me
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
