He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
