I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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