i just wanna soil my oats bro
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
