You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
