i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Randomize
