If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
