Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
