i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
