Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
