so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
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Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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