In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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