my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
