Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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