Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
