i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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