I need help removing her.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
