I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
