I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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