No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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