haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
