I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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