bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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