i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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