Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
