my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
