just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
