And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
