Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
