dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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