So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize