my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
