Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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