ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize