I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
