y did u give ur computer a hand job?
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
