i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Is her dick bigger than yours?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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