He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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