new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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