I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
