i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Dear god my vagina.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
