I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
