whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
