yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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