tell your sister to shave her snatch
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
