hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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