I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I've blown a few things in my day
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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