Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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