There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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