Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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