Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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