Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
