Dual....:-)
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize