Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
