Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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