I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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