alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
