I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
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he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
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I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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