If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
