Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
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